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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23731378">tap on my window, knock on my door</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outer Banks (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Drama, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheek Kisses, Comfort/Angst, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:42:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23731378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>But as he stood there looking at their faces filled with melancholy and their eyes widened with worry, JJ could feel himself start to falter. He hated it, hates feeling so weak and vulnerable in front of them, always has. But then his bottom lip trembles and his voice cracks. And before he knows it, he’s sobbing uncontrollably, gasping loudly as he fought to catch his breath. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>--</p><p>or my own extended version of what would’ve happened after the hot tub scene.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>JJ / Kiara (Outer Banks), Kiara/JJ (Outer Banks)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>256</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>tap on my window, knock on my door</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>           A soft breath hitched in the apex of her throat when she noticed the bruises chaffed against his torso, the normal pallor of his olive toned skin was now a dark purplish color. His bottom lip was swollen, the plush pink skin was maimed and had a deepened gashed cut that split slightly open, causing rivulets of blood to spill out of the slit and trickle into the creases of his mouth. </p><p>        JJ swiftly swiveled his tongue over his bottom lip, inwardly wincing at the salty, bittered tastes of the warm blood as it sat on his tongue. He flinches in recoil when he notices their eyes, the sadness that flickered through them. </p><p>      He’d been receiving that sympathetic look from them for years, ever since he first revealed to them about his father’s abusive ways.</p><p>      Albeit JJ always assured his friends that he could handle his dad, that didn’t stop them from worrying. JJ remembers once back in sixth grade when Pope tried to convince him into calling the cops on his dad. And for a short while he considered that option. </p><p>      He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to stop showing up at school with black eyes and bloody noses, he wanted to stop lying to his teachers to protect his dad. He wanted something, anyone to save him from his current hell. </p><p>But as more time passed and the more the thought about it, JJ realized that he couldn’t tell anyone. As fucked up as it was, his father was the only family that he had left. If he were to tell someone, there’s no telling where he’d end up. Probably in foster care with people who were just as fucked up as his dad. </p><p>      At least here he could escape from home from a few hours and seek solace within his friends. Here he could still have his group of misfit pogues, people who cared about him and who he cares about as well. He’d deal with his dad’s colliding fists if that meant he could stay here with his friends. </p><p>      So, JJ never told anyone (although he was almost certain that everyone already knew. There were only so many excuses you can give for constantly showing up to school with black eyes and bruises all over your body). As he grew older, he learned to avoid his father’s inebriated wrath which was when he was most physical. </p><p>He also learned to restrain himself from back talking although at times it didn’t always work. </p><p>      Sometimes JJ hated himself because no matter what, he still felt himself seeking validation from his father, trying to hard to prove that he could be the perfect son and not the fuck up that he saw him as. </p><p>      But it never worked. His dad would get drunk, spit vehement words of aggression at him, rough him up a few times and pass out slouched on the couch. When he would wake up sobered, he’d brush it off, saying that he was only hard on JJ because he reminded him so much of his mother who abandoned them.</p><p>      It was a relentless cycle of excuses with his father. But each time, JJ forgave him because there was a small part of him that still clung onto the foolish hope that his father was capable of change. </p><p>      Tonight however, his perception changed. When he stole the money from the drug dealers house and took it back home to his father, he had an inkling of hope that his dad would do the right thing for once and pay off the restitution money. </p><p>      JJ wanted to prove to his friends and to himself that he could do good, that him stealing the money wasn’t just about revenge. </p><p>      But of course all hope abruptly dissipated and transitioned into sheer disappointment when his father began to ramble about how he was going to use the money to buy himself a new motor boat. When he confronted his dad about his carelessness, Luke upheld no trepidation into putting his son in place.</p><p>         This time was different. JJ didn’t cower away when his father raised his clenched fist or bellowed loudly in his face. He stood his ground and fought back, expressing his years of pent up anger and hatred through the hard punches of his clenched fist.</p><p>           It almost frightened him when he realized how angry he really was. All that unresolved aggression suddenly spewed out of him and almost resulted into him hurting his father. But JJ was better than that. He refused to be like him. So, no matter how challenging he resisted the urge to beat his father to death and instead grabbed the canteen full of money and walked away. </p><p>            He fully intended on paying the restitution at first, but then his emotions got the best of him and the next thing he knew, he was splurging through the money, buying useless shit that he didn’t need. He knew that his friends would be upset with him for spending it, but at that moment he didn’t care. He just felt completely numb and wanted the hurting to stop. </p><p>        He drowned his sorrows in brewed bottles of beer as he sat in the steaming hot tub, trying to numb the pain. He just sat in there for hours, watching as the sun set and a dark hue loomed over the skies as the nighttime fell. </p><p>         Kie and Pope were the first ones to arrive back to John B’s house later that night. They were standing by the driveway talking when the sound of lights flickering on suddenly caught their attention. </p><p>        They chastised him for his reckless spending when they noticed the purchased he made with the stolen money. They were upset, but JJ didn’t care. The pain still felt raw even after hours of trying to drink it away it still haunted him deeply. But he maintained his insouciant facade, pretending that everything was okay. That <em>he</em> was okay even though he was drowning on the inside. </p><p>     “You bought a hot tub?” Kie exclaimed incredulously, shaking her head in disbelief at his irresponsible behavior.</p><p>     But as she stood there listening to Pope reprimand JJ she noticed something. When JJ stood up in the hot tub, she was able to receive a full view of his body which was covered in dark bruises along his torso. She gasped in horror, already knowing that it was the work of no one else but his father. </p><p>    Kiara had seen JJ’s bruised body plenty of times before, her stomach dropped in despair whenever he would appear with a new cut on his lip or a black eye. But seeing this, something about it seemed different. Those marks looked more painful than the others, like JJ’s dad took every trounce of his anger and used JJ’s body as a way to relieve it. </p><p>     It made her sick. JJ a innocent, broken boy having such a hateful man for a father.</p><p>    “JJ!” She says, her voice low and sullen as her eyes roved over his body again, assessing his wounds. A thick lump caught at the back of her throat, her eyes burn as she feels the tears beginning to gather. </p><p>    “No, alright? Now’s not the time to get all emotional. We have a hot tub! A-And tons of booze and fucking lights. Do you see these lights?” He chuckled wryly, glancing around at the beautiful scenery, ignoring the pain that was gnawing at him. </p><p>      He didn’t want their pity. He  gets enough of it already from everyone else in this town  anytime he walks into a room. The last thing he needed was pity from his friends. </p><p>         But as he stood there looking at their faces filled with melancholy and their eyes widened with worry, JJ could feel himself start to falter. He hated it, hates feeling so weak and vulnerable in front of them, always has. But then his bottom lip trembles and his voice cracks. And before he knows it, he’s sobbing uncontrollably, gasping loudly as he fought to catch his breath. </p><p>        His knees buckle with exertion beneath him, preparing to give out. But Kie’s there, wrapping her arms around him, steadying his balance before he even falls. “I almost killed him.” He cries, tightening the grip he held around Kie’s waist as he squeezes his eyes shut. </p><p>       She listens quietly, only nonverbally nodding her head as she hugged him in a comforting embrace. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” She whispers softly in appraisal, running a hand through his disheveled salt water smelling hair. </p><p>        JJ feels the warmth of another body pressed against him. He realizes that it’s Pope. </p><p>         They all stood there in the middle of the hot tub, Kie and Pope hugging him while JJ stood hunched over tightly clinging onto Kie’s body as he cried softly. They remained in that position for quite awhile until JJ’s wrecked sobs subsided into silent tears. Kiara still continued to rub soothing circles against his back, her cheek smushed against his as he nuzzles his face in the crook of her neck. </p><p>         “You’re okay now.” She repeats softly in his ears, her warm breath tickles against his skin. He knows that he still had to inevitably go back home with his father, but right now, he didn’t think about that. All he could think about was Kiara’s reassuring words and how for the first time in a long time, he actually believed that he would be okay.</p><p>         When he’s calmed down enough to speak, Kie retracts away from the embrace slightly. JJ’s cheeks flush in chagrin when he realizes that he’d just drenched her shirt in tears. He wipes the remnants of his tears away with the back of his hand murmuring an apologetic, “Sorry.”</p><p>        Kie shakes her head, waving his apology of dismissively. She didn’t care about the condition of her shirt, she just wanted to be sure that her friend was okay. “It’s just a stupid shirt, JJ. I’m more worried about you.” </p><p>      “Yeah, how are you feeling?” Pope asks, interjecting in their conversation. His face was furrowed in a moue frown as he stood there looking at the condition of JJ’s bruised body. “You’re not going back there tonight, are you?” </p><p>      Pope inquisitively catechizes, his fear of his friend’s safety about returning home with his father piqued. JJ sniffles softly and shrugged his shoulder. He runs a hand through his tousled hair. He knew he always had the option of staying over at John B’s place, but with all the chaos that erupted there JJ didn’t feel like dealing with that tonight. </p><p>      “No, you’re not going back there with that psycho.” Kiara argues defensively, and JJ winces at the offensive term she used in reference to his father. JJ knows he deserves to be called worse, but still. “I’m not letting you go back over there alone. You can sleep at my place tonight.” She suggests determiningly. </p><p>       While JJ appreciated the offer, he knows that her parents wouldn’t allow him to even step foot in the vicinity of their house. They hated him and the rest of their friends, thought they weren’t good enough to hang around their daughter. Maybe they were right. All of their lives were fucked up, with exception to Kie and Pope.</p><p>         Kiara had the opportunity to turn her life around and be a Kook like her parents wanted her to be instead of a greasy, low life Pogue. JJ refused to allow his problems to interfere with her family. He didn‘t want her to get into any trouble on account of him. </p><p>     He shakes his head, kindly declining her offer. “Thanks, Kie. But I’ll figure something out. If all else fails, I’ll just crash at John B’s.” But Kiara was relentless with her determined adamance, refusing to allow him anywhere out of her sight. </p><p>          “You’re staying at my place tonight.” </p><p>- </p><p>       “Just be really quiet. My dad’s a heavy sleeper but he’ll still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes.” Kiara whispered, glancing over her shoulder and looking at JJ who walked stealthily behind her, careful not to let the gait of his heavy feet make a sound loud enough to wake her parents. </p><p>          JJ followed behind Kie, his eyes seemingly averted around her luxurious house in admiration. They’d never seen the inside of her house, only being allowed on the front yard. His chest tightens when he sees their family portraits hanging up decoratively on the living room walls, their faces beaming wide smiles as they stared into the lenses of the camera. </p><p>          He swallows thickly, ignoring the painful realization that he could never and would never have something like that with his own father as his family was tainted and dysfunctional. He shakes that nagging feeling aside for the moment and snapped back into his current reality as Kie lead him through the living room then down the hall to her bedroom. </p><p>      When he stepped inside of the spacious bedroom, he was surprised to see so many pink things hanging up. He smirked sheepishly at her, to which she playfully rolled her eyes in retort. “Don’t start. My mom made me hang all this girly shit up. She said my room was too bland.” </p><p>    JJ raised his hands in the air defensively, “I wasn’t going to say anything.” He says, though both of them know it was a blatant lie. </p><p>        “Mhm.” </p><p>      Kie walks off somewhere into the bathroom, leaving JJ standing there in the middle of the room.</p><p>            He shoves his hands inside the front of his cargo shorts as he glanced around the spacious room. He was always well aware that she had the advantage on comparison to the rest of the group, but standing here now and looking at her big canopy bed and her flat screen tv that was hanging inside the wall of her bedroom he realized just how much her life was better than his. </p><p>       He slept on a measly pull out couch in a shabby bedroom with one dresser. Kie’s room was twice the size of his. They always wondered why she decided to be a Pogue instead of a Kook, when she had such a luxurious lifestyle.</p><p>        He perched down at the edge of her bed, his fingers tapping against his thigh as he waited for her to depart from the bathroom. It took about five minutes for him to realize that she was taking a shower. He was grateful that he decided to grab a few pairs of clothes from home before making his way over here, because his body reeked horribly of sweat. </p><p>      JJ sat there waiting for about ten minutes. When Kiara finally retreated from the bathroom, she was towel drying her wet hair. She was clad in a pair of comfy pajamas. She pointed a thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the bathroom. </p><p>      “I left enough hot water for you.” He nods, quietly thanking her as he clambered to his feet, grabbing his small book bag before scurrying off into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. </p><p>       He stood in front of the mirror, staring at his disheveled reflection. The color was staring to return from the black eye he received days ago, and the swelling on his bottom lip had finally went down. </p><p>     Closing his eyes shut and inhaling a soft breath, JJ reached down to the hem of his shirt and slowly began to peel the fabric off of his sweat slicked body. He winces lowly, trying to ignore the sore pain he felt thronging through the crevices of his bruised body. He managed to shuck the shirt off of his upper body, absentmindedly tossing the bunched up fabric onto the floor.</p><p>      He rid himself down of the remainder of his clothing then turned the shower faucet on and stepped inside to clean himself. </p><p>      About fifteen minutes later when he returned from the bathroom, he could see Kiara curled comfortably underneath her duvet of covers on her bed. JJ stood there cautiously, unsure of what to do. He cleared his throat. </p><p>      “Do you have any extra blankets and pillows?” He asked, to which she sat up on the bed and looked at him bewilderedly. </p><p>     “For?” </p><p>      JJ blinked as he gestured a hand towards the floor. “So I can have something to sleep with.” </p><p>       Kie shook her head as she pulled back the covers and patted the empty spot next to her. JJ raised an inquiring eyebrow. “Dude, I’m not letting you sleep on that hard ass floor. C’mon.” She offers and JJ feels too tired to refuse. </p><p>      He sauntered across the room, waking to the opposite side of the bed. He climbed on top, then lifted the covers as he snuggled underneath the bunch of swathed blankets and sheets. His head laid against the fluffy stack of pillows. He has never felt this relaxed before. “Thanks, Kie.” He whispers lowly, his eyes avert over to hers as she flipped on her side so that she’s now facing his direction. </p><p>      She laid flat on her side, her hand tucked underneath her head. She shrugged a shoulder, “It’s no problem. I just hate that you have to go through that.” She admits sullenly, a frown juts downward on her lips. </p><p>     This time it’s JJ who shrugs a shoulder. “Only one more year ’til graduation. Who knows where I could end up, you know? Maybe we’ll be lucky enough to find the money and I can finally get away from my dad.” He says, with hope shrilling in his voice. </p><p>       Kie smiles softly and nods her head. “And we can all buy us a nice house on the other side of the island with the Kooks.” </p><p>    “I thought you said you hated the Kooks.” </p><p>     “I do. But I’d gladly deal with those narcissistic, pretentious assholes if it means I still get to be around you guys.”</p><p>        JJ smiles at her sentiment. “We’d still be Pogues though, right? Just because we’ll be living lavish like the Kooks doesn’t make us Kooks.” </p><p>           Kie scrunched her nose and scoffed incredulously at his absurd suggestion. “Hell yeah. Once a Pogue, always a Pogue.”</p><p>       Then the room transcends into a stilled silence. Not one of awkwardness, just a hushed silence of them just laying there staring at each other. JJ’s the first one to break the eye contact when he feels a warm blush coloring his cheeks as he stared longingly at Kie’s beautiful face.</p><p>       He settles his gaze on his hand instead as it laid in the middle of the bed. “JJ?” He hears Kie’s sotto voce call out his name. He flicks his eyes upward, settling into the warm, russet brown of her eyes again. He raises a brow, waiting for her to speak. </p><p>     His eyes widen in surprise, his heartbeat posthates rapidly against his chest when he sees her beginning to lean forward. He parts his mouth, intending to ask what she was doing. But no coherent words escaped. He swallows thickly, watching as she scooted closer, the citrusy fragrance of her body wash filled in his nostrils. </p><p>    He could feel the warm radiating from her body as she pressed closer and closer to him until she’s laying directly in front of him, with their noses brushing lightly against each other’s and their mouths inches apart. “I’m glad you’re okay.” She says, leaning in again. She presses a kiss against the corner of his mouth, allowing her lips to linger there for a brief moment. </p><p>       JJ’s heart flutters upon feeling her soft lips against him. Usually he was so suave and confident when it came to girls, and often times he tried to maintain that persona in front of Kie too, but tonight, he fell completely helpless to her onslaught. He’d never felt this way before, so vulnerable and shy in front of any girl. But Kie wasn’t just any girl. </p><p>    She was one of his best friends, a Pogue. Who he knew he could never have a future with. And not just because of the cemented rule that forbade them from having relations with each other, but because of their backgrounds. She was rich, high society while he came from the gritty slums of the other side of the island.</p><p>       And even though JJ knew that Kie didn’t care about stature like everyone else in the Outer Banks, he knew that she was doing all this simply because she was being a good friend. And that’s exactly what he needed tonight.</p><p>      So, no matter how much his feelings for Kiara had seemingly began to increase, he set those aside for a moment and appreciated her for her kind gestures and for allowing him to seek refuge in her house for the night. </p><p>    “Good night, JJ.” </p><p>    “Goodnight, Kie.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>probably a whole lot of grammatical and spelling errors :/ my b.</p><p>but can we all agree that jj deserves better?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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